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What Not To Worry About #40

What Not To Worry About #40

Happy Monday friends! As I write this, I am curled up on my couch, watching hurricane Ophelia whirl herself around my wee house making it creak like it’s about to take off ‘Wizard of Oz’-style in a matter of minutes. It’s a beautiful name for a storm that could potentially wreak havoc on an island that isn’t quite used to dealing with anything remotely tropical but we are used to rain, lots of rain, so despite meteorologists urging us to take the warnings seriously there is little chance that a few drops of rain and wind will spook us too much. I hope.

Before Ophelia greeted us she pushed some weird weather our way over the weekend; lots of mizzly rain with temperatures warmer than they had been for months. I had planned to meet an Instagram pal on Saturday to take some photos and was hoping the weather might clear a little. Alas we were forced to brave the drizzle and skipped around the Argory getting our toes thoroughly soaked in the process but in the end we came away with some very pretty snaps that I think made the trench foot worth it.

Mel and I became friendly over Instagram after I immediately fell in love with her writing. She writes a wonderful blog that is full of content that lifts you up and pushes you forward, championing women and their wide range of ambitions and dreams. Mel believes that if you are passionate about something then you should let nothing stop you from pursuing it and has proven that herself in what she has accomplished. She was recently awarded an MBE for her work in anti-human trafficking, she organises seasonal gatherings to bring together local creatives hoping to make connections, she is raising two kids and on top of that she writes for her blog among other publications. Freakin’ wonder woman, right?

Online relationships are commonplace in our modern society but what is becoming even more common are the friendships that are formed through social media. Little communities are created among people who have a united passion, who want to encourage creativity in others and receive support for the work they produce which is predominantly shared online. Some of these friendships can be more fruitful and rewarding that those we have in real life and although we may never even get to meet the person behind the screen, it doesn’t make them any less valid.

Luckily Mel is only down the road from me but it really got me thinking of all the amazing people I have been able to meet through Instagram and the blog. By creating connections with people who inspire me and attending events like Mel’s gatherings or Emma’s retreat, I have opened up a whole new world for myself and forged friendships that maybe wouldn’t have happened if not for the online world. It’s a new age we’re living in and I feel damn lucky to be a part of it.

Now, on to the worries I am letting go of this week. Here’s the weekly list for today, I hope you are reading it from a safe wee spot, preferably wrapped in a blanket with a cup of tea warming your mittens…

Speaking the same love language as my partner – when I drove down to Kerry a couple of weeks ago with my pal Rebecca, we got in to a very deep chat about the different love languages that exist between partners and how couples should figure out their respective language in order to make the relationship work (deep I know but a road trip will do that to ya). Since then I came across this article and I found it fascinating and so eye-opening – definitely worth a read.

Making light of sexual harassment – I have been engrossed in articles relating to the Harvey Weinstein scandal since it emerged and what surprised me most was how unsurprised I was at the ability of a successful man to continually harass and abuse women for decades. Women are victims of this kind of harassment from such a young age it’s like we become immune and stop feeling shocked which in turn, only allows for this kind of behaviour to be acceptable. I read this piece on my favourite website and the comments moved and enraged me so much. Maybe the actions of this horrific man has started an important movement – who knows?

Confusing comparison with inspiration – sometimes when I read someone’s work, look at their beautiful photos or watch them talk I am filled with this feeling of despondence. I wonder to myself if I could ever achieve success like theirs and hate myself for comparing myself to them when in actually fact I should be relishing in being inspired. I should be taking notes or thinking how their work might better my own because being inspired by someone usually ignites the passion you needed to succeed in the first place. Lesson ongoing!

Wearing pumps – I think that ship has sailed now as I got my feet soaked at the weekend. Winter boots at the ready!

Dark mornings – I got up in the dark for the first time this morning which wasn’t too fun but what I have started doing is meditating right after my breakfast. I’ve been using the Headspace app and using a few minutes in the morning to relax and regroup before work. I’m hoping it’ll make the dark mornings a little easier to bear – worth a go for a few weeks!

 

Have a great week folks!

 

 

 

What Not To Worry about #38

What Not To Worry about #38

And so it was October. A month that feels a little bittersweet as nature puts on a final show of colour and magic before the sedentary months of winter roll in. Despite it being a month that sees the temperatures fall and the trees baring themselves to the world, October is when I find myself reawakening and finding the motivation that disappeared in the haze of summer.

It’s as if a light switch goes off as the world outside darkens, I suddenly remember the tasks and creative projects I had set aside months ago and immerse myself in books and articles that I know will inspire me. I spoke of the blogging event I attended in last week’s post which is one of the ways in which I am trying to push myself back to where I want to be again, surrounded by people who lift me up and encourage me to create.

I am also attending the TBEX conference in Kerry next week which I am so so excited about (and a wee bit nervous if I’m completely honest). My friend Rebecca had asked me to go with her earlier this year and I jumped at the opportunity to speak and listen to photographers and bloggers who have travelled the world while making a living. I have had to use up the rest of my annual leave (it’s going to feel like a long time until the Christmas break!) but I reckon it will all be worth it, even just to have the opportunity to leap about the fields of Kerry.

I hope you’re feeling just as motivated these few weeks as we say goodbye to the summer that never was but if you are lacking a little and are in need of a gentle push, have a gander at the worries I am letting go of this week. I have linked some articles which have inspired me too so please read them to enlighten you or even just made you chuckle because a wee giggle can be enough to lift us 🙂

Here goes…

Listening to bullshit – we don’t have to put up with it and we’re actually doing ourselves a disservice by participating in even listening to it. Read this article which is an excerpt from Brené Brown’s new book to help convince you!

Not being able to write – working a full time job and then coming home to write a post from scratch can feel almost impossible which is why I need to have a wee space at home to wind down. I loved reading this piece where writers spoke of how they get their creative juices flowing, where they can create best and even what they choose to wear!

Getting major wedding envy – I trawled through the photos from Sara Tasker’s wedding (who is the genius behind Me & Orla) and heard a little whimper escape because it was all so beautiful. If I ever get married it will be in a barn I am almost certain with ferns in my hair OR I might just wear ferns in my hair at the weekend for kicks.

Being a very lazy baker – I have hardly baked all summer and feel guilty that my cake mixer has been sitting in the corner abandoned and unused. With the apple season rounding out I decided to pop down to Armagh to bake some apples and either re-try this recipe or give Rebecca’s mum-in-law’s recipe a go.

Missing someone – Autumn brings with it moments of contemplation and this can sometimes lead to pangs for the people we wish were by our side. Read this poem if you’re feeling the same. It made me ache in the most beautiful way.

 

Have a lovely week folks and if you have any tips for Kerry, help a sister out and leave a comment!

What Not To Worry About #37

What Not To Worry About #37

Happy Tuesday friends, the last Tuesday in September… How did this happen?! Despite writing this from a hospital bed, I am feeling more invigorated than ever after a weekend full of creativity and inspiration. It is truly amazing how things land in our lap in abundance when we need it most and what I needed more than ever was to feel inspired in this little moment of vulnerability.

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I was admitted to hospital on Wednesday evening and although it’s never a nice experience being hooked up to an IV drip or to sleep on a squeaky plastic mattress, it has been a restorative week and I am feeling more like myself again. Thankfully I am not chained to the bed and I’m allowed to ‘escape’ for a few hours during the day to inhale real fresh air (man, hospital air can drain the very moisture from your bones) which has saved me from going a bit mad.

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And so I took myself off on Friday evening to the streets of Belfast and decided to explore everything Culture Night had to offer. For those of you who maybe aren’t local to the city, Culture Night is a one-night-only event that happens every September and sees Belfast come to life with over 250 free events taking place in venues scattered across the city. The organisers were expecting up to 100,000 people to attend this year and I think they might have been about right as I squidged myself between hoards of people carrying maps in their hands, hunting down the next event they wanted to get to.

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The night was a real success and walking through the streets reminded me of the reasons why I love Belfast. It is a city that is at it’s best when celebrating diversity and rejoicing in the unique. Over the space of a few hours I roamed from a cathedral hosting a youth jazz orchestra to watching a swing dance competition, to listening to psychedelic rock in a hairdressers bathed in red light, to an Afro-Caribbean festival, to a drag queen street concert.

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I went on my own as a last minute decision which was possibly the best way to experience the night since I could wiggle my way between the crowds and pick and choose what I wanted to see while stumbling upon events I had no idea were happening. It was a fantastic night and could possibly be the most positive and happy event the city has each year.

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Keeping in tune with my new love affair with Belfast, I visited the Tesco Taste Festival at Custom House Square with my cousins on Saturday. A love of food is in our genes and we fully encouraged one another to eat as many samples as we could fit in our bellies – not an ounce of shame between us! The scale of the festival was a real surprise, I hadn’t expected such variety and there were Michelin chefs cooking for an audience live – not something you see every day!

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And then Sunday happened, a cherry on the top of a weekend that made my soul happy. Emma who writes the Life at Littlewood blog (beautiful writer – go read her work!) had organised an event for other bloggers called the ‘Country Blog Retreat’ which was aimed at bringing a group of creatives together who are perhaps needing a little inspiration with their blog or in any part of their lives. We can all struggle with believing that our voice has the right to be heard and the event was full of like-minded people who had this common desire to create something of meaning to themselves.

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As we found our seats (and practiced some self-control with the gift bags) there was a collective murmur that descended within the room. People began exchanging advice on where they were at with their Instagram account, how they were struggling with photography, how disillusioned they sometimes felt with writing blog posts and whether they should be writing at all. There was an immediate atmosphere of support and it felt like a community had just been created within that room that only strengthened as the afternoon wore on.

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The knowledge the speakers had was invaluable and I know that it definitely shook me out of the ‘creative coma’ I’ve been feeling for a number of months. I had been struggling massively with writing good content and feeling a little adrift in terms of what I wanted to be writing about so when Mel Wiggins spoke about writing for ourselves, writing content that we would want to read, it felt like a switch went off in my head!

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So here I am, feeling rested, inspired, invigorated and ready to write more than ever. As well as that I have a few more worries that I will be leaving behind this week. Here they are:

Knowing how to cool down a cup of tea – I am one of those people that leaves their tea for a few minutes so it’s just warm and then I drink it all in one go. The danger in this is that I often forget I have the tea to drink and when I go to drink it I’ve left it too long and it’s like dishwater – the horror! I recently read this article about lessons readers had learned and I found that adding 2 ice cubes is perfect for cooling down tea quickly – who would’ve thunk it?! Read the article for more ingenious insights and lessons.

On having regrets – We all have them don’t we? One of my biggest regrets is missing all those lectures in University because I would give anything to immerse myself in knowledge like that again. The lesson is to learn from these regrets and here are some amazing women who have their own thoughts on how to do that.

Attractive physiotherapists – I had a not-too-shabby physiotherapist pop in to my hospital room on Sunday to perform some physio on my chest which would have involved him actually laying hands on my chest. Eh, don’t think so pal! I kindly told him to come back in a while and then promptly did my own physio to avoid any embarrassment and humiliation. Crisis averted.

Having a purpose – turning 29 has made me very contemplative and wondering where I fit in the grand scheme of things. I think this is fairly normal the older we get and it’s nice to know I am not alone in this. I’ll probably write something of my own regarding this communal symptom of age but for now, read this if you fancy delving in to something uplifting.

Hospital food – Because no one wants to have to slice their mashed potato like it’s a cake.

 

Have a great week folks! 

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What Not To Worry About #36

What Not To Worry About #36

Happy Tuesday pals! How is your week going so far? Have you been digging out the cosy knits and winter coats from the back of the wardrobe this week? I have to admit, despite how completely unready I felt for Autumn, I have been secretly relishing the brisk mornings and having a real excuse for having a hot chocolate at 8am. It may have been a pretty lousy late summer but there seems to be a few brighter days on the horizon so we can at least squeeze a few more after-work sunset walks in before those dark afternoons descend on us.

 

Unfortunately I’ve been feeling a little under the weather since coming back from our holidays. I managed to push through last week when I was back to work but my stubbornness had to take a back seat when I came down with a temperature on Saturday night. Andrew was the one that talked me in to calling the hospital and telling them I needed to be admitted on Sunday morning but, as is the case a lot these days, they didn’t have any free beds so I am having to wait until one becomes free.

 

For those of you who are new to the blog, first of all, I am so glad you’re here! Second of all, I am sure you’re wondering why on Earth I would be needing to call a hospital, right? The reason for the hyper-vigilance is because I was born with Cystic Fibrosis, a genetic disease which affects my lungs and digestive system (check out this blog post which goes in to a little more detail). My main issue is maintaining an infection in my lungs which I do through physiotherapy but sometimes my body can grow tired and the infection can cause more problems than normal. These are the times when I need to be admitted for IV antibiotics and more intensive physiotherapy which usually takes two weeks.

 

I am lucky in that hospitalisation is rare and I am able to live a normal life with minimal treatment however it doesn’t make going in to hospital any less scary or disheartening. This is a time when I am at my most vulnerable, when I am forced to tell my managers and colleagues about my health which can leave me feeling a little exposed and embarrassed. Of course I am perfectly entitled to take time off when my health is in decline but having to communicate this in the workplace is terrifying because I hate to feel like I am a burden to anyone.

 

Fortunately my employers have been more than supportive and so I have been waiting on a hospital bed from home, resting and giving myself a head-start before I am admitted. I am hoping to throw myself in to the blog more and use my time wisely but most of all I just need to be still and rest this wee body of mine so I am in tip-top shape for this long ass winter of ours!

 

I am not worrying about myself too much, in fact I am fairly positive it won’t take much for me to bounce back so there is no wallowing in this camp. Instead I am letting go of more silly worries and thoughts so I can feel a little lighter and hopefully spread a little more happiness in to your week too! Here’s the list for this week.

 

The in-between season wardrobe – how do I dress? Can I get away with bare legs anymore? Is it too soon for woolly hats?? September is a weird month for fashion.

Googling answers to life questions – I am a sucker for Googling weird and wonderful symptoms but it turns out us humans Google pretty much everything that pops in to our little heads. Here’s the list of the most Googled how-to questions which offers some insight in to our quirks and insecurities.

Email spam – I really need to give my inbox a good spring clean because it is littered with crap I just ignore and never delete. I am going to try and delete 50 emails a day so I just be done by about 2072.

Not sticking to my summer bucketlist – I never manage to but I am going to use a few goals from this list to keep me happy this Autumn.

Feeling post-shopper’s guilt – when I feel sick I tend to have the urge to buy myself something so I went out yesterday and bought myself brand new PJ’s because I am a granny and this is what makes me happy 🙂

 

Have a lovely week!!

What Not To Worry About #35

What Not To Worry About #35

Hello old friends. How have you been? Staying dry and praying for the long awaited Indian summer I hope? I’m sorry for the silence on this little space the last fortnight or so. I feel like an irresponsible parent as I have gallivanted across Indonesian islands with barely enough time to post on Instagram let alone write (and that’s sayin’ somethin’). Oh but what a time I had without fretting once about work or the blog or anything at all really (apart from where my next margarita was coming from which is a genuine reason to fret I think).

 

I have lots of stories to share from our time in Bali and the other wee islands we hopped across and there are hundreds of photos waiting for me to edit which is freakin’ me out a little I must say. More so because I’ll be constantly reminded that the holiday was real and not a dream and, more devastatingly, all over. The post-holiday blues are a privileged mixture of emotions because how lucky are we to even experience the longing for a place we were fortunate enough to even visit? But these emotions also remind me that I am a real adult with real responsibilities and real annual leave which only goes so far in accommodating my dreams of being a globe-trotting goddess.

 

So back down to earth I have arrived and with a bang, I’ll tell you. The rain was horizontally howling at me as I stepped off the plane in Belfast, taunting and teasing me as if sensing my immediate disdain for it. We arrived home and emptied our suitcases in to our tiny kitchen, swamping the floors so we could no longer see the tiles. My herbs have died too. I had asked my lovely (and untrustworthy it turns out) neighbours to water them while we were gone but instead we were greeted with a very sad-looking (and dead-looking) herbarium along with a note apologizing for forgetting to water them. They did leave us little welcome home gifts – a loaf of bread and a carton of milk in the fridge and so their thoughtlessness was instantly forgiven for their thoughtfulness. Although we’ll be asking Maureen to water our plants next time.

 

Aside from mourning my holiday and my rapidly diminishing tan, there really isn’t much that is greatly worrying me within my life at the moment. Of course there are the greater troubles in the world (global warming, the Great Pacific Garbage patch, Trump, countless wars, countless children that are needlessly starving across the world, families with no access to clean water, the inequalities and exploitation of vulnerable people as a result of the decisions of strangers) but this weekly post of mine focuses on not the big worries which we can attempt to improve in our own little ways (post on this coming soon) but instead on the unnecessary worries we have or the niggling thoughts that we torture ourselves with which serve no purpose other than to grind us down. We deserve better than to be our own enemy. We should always be on our own side, fighting our own corner and above all, liking who we are.

 

With that in mind, here are the few silly worries that I am letting go of this week…

 

The fact that the penultimate Game of Thrones is over

We watched the last episode in our apartment in Bali (I have no shame in admitting this!) and I’m now crushed at the thought of waiting a whole year to the next one. I need a new series to sink my teeth in to – suggestions please?! In the meantime I have my weekly instalments of GBBO that will tide me over for a little while more so because I adore Noel Fielding and fully appreciate seeing him in his patterned shirts making jokes about muffins.

 

Realising that I have to wait another 4 months before I can plan another holiday

After a trip to a TBEX conference in Kerry in October, my annual leave has been reduced to diddly squat. I have been dreaming what our next big trip should be and after reading this article, I have decided that it should definitely involve a road trip with me eating my way through the southern states. I already know that New Orleans will seduce me with her beignets and beads!

 

Heights

I am terrified of them and have this weird urge to throw myself of something high which both terrifies and fascinates me. When we were on holidays we descended a metal staircase attached to a cliff to reach the bottom where a temple was built in to the rocks. I was so scared because I could see through the steps to see the waves crashing violently below. I did it though and felt proud that I conquered another fear and then I read this article and thought: Dude must be mental.

 

Being crap at sticking to my goals

I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions as it creates too much pressure especially in the peak of winter when just about everything is harder. I think September is the best month to revisit the goals I want to achieve and I’m not alone in this. Check this piece out for a little autumnal goal inspiration.

 

My photography skills

I always feel a little frustrated after a holiday because I worry that I didn’t take enough photos, didn’t really capture the moments that truly moved me when I was there. This holiday we both took so many photos, poor Andrew having to deal with me orchestrating so many for fear of missing a good opportunity – the man deserves a medal! However none of them compare to this amazing collection of travel photos that have inspired me to keep up the work and push myself even further.

 

Wishing you all a lovely week!!

What Not To Worry About #34

What Not To Worry About #34

Happy Tuesday! A little late with the post this week as my mind is consumed with the prospect of feeling the sun on my skin and the sand in between my toes. I have never felt more ready for a holiday especially since it felt like I woke up in a misty cloud this morning, the air thick with moisture even though it wasn’t even raining. And last night was the first time we had the heating on in months. Yes, I think Autumn might have arrived a little early.

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Despite the sad, sad weather we were determined to make the most of the weekend and finally get that afternoon of hiking that I’ve been talking about all summer. We arranged an afternoon climb up Cavehill with friends along with their 10 month old baby who they carried in a very impressive and very professional looking backpack thingy that I was supremely jealous of because he looked so darn cosy in it. Although I have been jabbering on about going hiking for ages and even included it in my summer bucket list,  I actually don’t own a pair of hiking boots (the pair I had from my uni days have scarpered during one of my million moves). I thought I would be grand in my gym trainers but I was oh so WRONG. After a few rain showers the grass was thoroughly muddy and so on our descent I was a victim of a perfect comedy slip (legs waaay up in the air) that left me covered in muck and a little bit of shame. I’ll be buying hiking boots for next summer for sure.

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Luckily, the rest of the weekend was a little less testing with a mountain of good things to celebrate. The first being my best friend Caoimhe getting engaged to her ‘boyfriend of a million years’ Simon which was just about the best news to hear. Caoimhe and I have been best buds since we were young cubs when we were borrowing each other’s Tammy Girl clothes and Collection 2000 make-up for the teenage disco. She has been there to listen to my worries and fears around the world, namely:

  • When I cried over my first love in the Gaeltacht (where we were supposed to be improving our Gaelic in Donegal but mostly ran after boys)
  • When we worried if we’ll actually pass our AS Levels while on our first girls holiday in Santa Ponsa
  • Holding my hand while I panicked on our first long-haul flight to San Francisco
  • When I was sick in SE Asia and made me eat food
  • When she reminded me of home while we lived in Australia
  • When she would let me talk for hours on walks around the Lagan river in Belfast

What memories we’ve made over the years and to see your friend beaming with happiness is all you can ask for, right?

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The second bit of celebrating happened on Sunday when I stood as godmother for Dara, the son of my friends Catherine and Phily. This is their third child and I find it amazing that I am even friends with people who have three children let alone being thought of as responsible enough to be a guardian in any shape or form. But it turns out I can actually pull this whole godmother thing off and I felt very grown up as I held him, proud as punch. It is on afternoons like that when I feel so glad to live close to home and be a part of such a happy event. Seeing families rallying together to welcome in their new little person, taking far too many photos and passing him around for cuddles while eating plenty of cake. It really was a good weekend.

Carrying on with this positivity, I have a few worries that I am letting go of this week…

People getting judge-y about how people should enjoy their engagement

I have never been engaged before but I’ve watched a few friends go through the experience and wondered how the hell they deal with all the pressure. All the questions and opinions even within the first few days must be a little overwhelming and it was no surprise to read this article which talks about the bucket-loads of anxiety some people might feel at first. People should just chill out and understand that everyone is different whether the couple stay engaged forever or book their wedding an hour after they get engaged. Just do what makes you happy!

My make-up bag

Ugh you do not want to go in there. I have brushes in there that haven’t been washed since I bought them (Lord knows when) and mascara so old it’s like cement. I recently read this post which taught me when I should be throwing things away instead of hoarding all of this crap that I know I will probably never use.

Worrying that I am a millennial or too old

Does a millennial have to born after 2000? Or do I belong to the most hated subset of the population? Either way I major LOL’d at this bit of internet gold.

An invisible hair on my face

Probably the most annoying thing to have on one’s face when one is trying to remain in a serious conversation with a coworker. No I don’t have a tick I just have a hair on my face which is driving me INSANE!!

Living ethically

I often worry about my impact on the environment and if I am truly doing everything I can do live as mindfully as possible which is why Mel Wiggins is my go-to gal for ideas on how to live a more ethical life. She has just started an e-course for families who are looking to improve the way they live socially and environmentally which you can find here. I think it’s amazing what she’s doing and if you’re looking for a way to begin a change but are unsure how then I couldn’t recommend this course more.

 

Have a lovely week and here’s to turning the heating on and closing the curtains the moment we get home!!

What Not To Worry About #33

What Not To Worry About #33

Happy Tuesday friends!! I hope this week has started off well despite the extremely autumn-y weather we have been having. It really feels like summer is falling through our fingertips now although there is a part of me that’s looking forward to lighting the fire again and seeing the colours beginning to change. I am an Autumn baby after all!

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The past weekend was spent down in Armagh catching up with old friends over a few pints and some blues music. Armagh has been hosting the 7 Hills Blues Fest for a few years now and it’s been such a great success in a town that has been encouraging more and more local festivals. It’s always good to return to my hometown but it’s even better when there’s an excuse to dance until the wee hours!

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But in even bigger news, I have been asked to be godmother for my friends’ wee bairn! It is official: I am actually a responsible adult. Catherine and Phily welcomed Dara in to the world last Monday and I got the chance to hold the wee bundle on Saturday. He is beautiful and I was so chuffed to be asked – does this mean I am a proper grown up now??

Despite the positive things that are happening in my own world, there are still a few worries that I am letting go of this week. Here are a few of them…

Not doing enough of what I love

I love being outside and throughout the summer I had hoped to get hiking the mountains near home. Unfortunately the weekends have ran away from me and so I have been living vicariously through this woman who is my new hero.

Not being successful

I wrote a piece last week about the things that shouldn’t define us and I also read this blog post by the ever-fantastic Sara Tasker who spoke about how being successful shouldn’t always be monetary. It really is a great post that definitely helped me see things from a different perspective.

Not living closer to the water

I live within a few miles of the nearest beach so I really shouldn’t complain much but after living in Australia, I really miss getting my feet sandy every day. Lately I have been making more of an effort to catch the sunset on the beach closest to me and after reading this article, I understand more than ever how being by the water is food for the soul.

Planning holiday outfits

We’re off to Bali next week and I am already trying to break each day down to outfits and then subcategorising down to:

  • cute ‘aren’t I so bohemian’ beach outfits
  • sophisticated ‘look at me in this flowy dress’ dinner outfits
  • dressy ‘we’re going out-out tonight’ outfits
  • demure ‘I am a respectful lady’ temple outfits

It’ll be a miracle if I am able to whittle all of these potential looks in to one suitcase!

Not sleepwalking when we’re on holiday

I used to sleepwalk a lot when I was a child (which thoroughly freaked out my parents) but it doesn’t happen quite as much as I’ve gotten older. However it seems to happen when I am in a new place and I remember waking up when I was inter-railing trying to get out on to a balcony in Krakow – not good! If you have any sleepwalkers in your life then reading this article might help you handle them a little better. Here’s hoping I don’t go off on any midnight danders in Bali!

 

Have a great week!

10 Things That You Should Not Let Define You

10 Things That You Should Not Let Define You

I’ll be turning 29 next month which has started a very contemplative phase I like to call the ‘pre-birthday freak-out phase’. It’s around this time that I start questioning where I am, the person I am and the person I want to become.  I know it’s all extremely deep and self-absorbed but I think these are important questions to ask ourselves every once in a while even when you’re not entering the last year of your twenties and flippin’ the feck out.

Self-identity is a can of worms that I am not qualified to open but I thought I would share something that I have come to understand during this haze of panic:

Most of us want to be the best person we can be

Right? We all want to be remembered as being kind/generous/successful people but in the quest for this achievement we can lose sight of what truly defines us. We allow ourselves to become focused on circumstances that we believe to be a crucial part of who are when in fact they are only the stepping stone to being that person. We are always changing as people through the experiences we have but we can’t benefit from these lessons if we are unable to see past our situation.

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I have been guilty of this recently. By nearing 30 I have wondered if I am where I thought I would be by this age. As a teenager I had no concept of time and predicted I would be earning a heck of a lot more, be married, own my own home with maybe a wee bairn on the way. I haven’t achieved any of that but should I let that define whether I am successful or not? Absolutely not.

I honestly believe it is my actions and treatment of others that define who I am. I believe it is the love that consumes me for my family and friends that defines me. I believe it is every experience, heartbreak or euphoric, that defines me. I believe it is the people who I have met and the stories I have heard that defines me. I am made up of all these things and will continue to be made up of more as I grow older and love more.

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Here are the things that I am choosing to not let define me and hopefully you won’t let define you either…

Your Job

As a doe-eyed university student I dreamed of becoming a hugely successful wildlife conservationist and travelling the world as David Attenborough’s understudy (I dreamed big!). Of course I could still become a conservationist if my heart desired but my career has led me down a different path that I am OK with. I am working in the financial world now, an industry I would have turned my nose up as a young environmentalist but I have chosen this career because I know it will help me progress to where I want to go. You might not like your current job or you might be a little disappointed that you’re not where you thought you would be instead focus on where this experience will get you to. I don’t allow my job or how much I earn to define me because I have a whole life outside of work that I believe contributes to who I am too.

Your Marital Status

I am a part of a group of friends who are slowly getting married off one by one and I have been beyond happy watching them commit themselves to the people they love. However, I hate the feeling that people wonder when ‘I’m next’ because it’s as if the happiness of my own relationship is then questioned because we aren’t yet married. We shouldn’t use any relationship as a measure of success, married or otherwise, because it will only lead to an unhealthy dependency on using another person to define who we are. We are all individuals and should always treat ourselves as such when considering our own worth.

Your Age

I know a few of you reading might scoff at me panicking about turning 30 but I think we are all victims of allowing our age to define us. Our age can stop us from making decisions that might change our lives because we either believe we are either too old or too young to accomplish them. We might feel we are too young to question our peers in the workplace and not worthy of the respect we deserve based on our merit. We might feel we are too old to leave a toxic relationship because it will mean we need to start all over again. Your age isn’t you. Those big bold choices in life are what define us and age should never be a barrier to that.

Your Appearance

Honestly the amount of times I have stood in front of a mirror and felt disgusted is too many times to admit but it has happened. I have scrolled through Instagram wondering why I have this pouch that will refuse to leave or why my legs are like wee stumps instead of remembering that the pouch isn’t really all that big and my legs are actually quite toned. Our appearance might be the first thing that people see but the impressions we make go beyond what we see in the mirror. When someone greets you they are looking for the kindness in your eyes, the warmth in your smile or how easy you are to talk to. Your features do not define you.

Your Health

This one may not be specific to some people but I had to include it because it’s relevant to the perception I can have of myself. Having Cystic Fibrosis means that I often feel like I have little control over my life and therefore people’s perceptions of me. I hate that I might be thought of as ‘sick’ because I don’t want my illness to define who I am or what others think of me. I am so much more than a girl who has a bad cough! And you too shouldn’t let your own health define the expectations you have of yourself. So what if you might not be a good runner? You might be better suited to yoga or a gentle swim. Ease up on the pressure and remember that just because you might not be able to run a mile in few minutes doesn’t make you capable of other great things.

Your ‘Stuff

Social media now means that instead of just reading about celebrities in magazines we now have full access to their daily lives. Product after product is being churned out to ‘influence’ us to buy while trends move so fast that sought after items are often outdated by the time we can afford to buy them. We have been a consumer society for a long time now but the pressure is getting a bit ridiculous and we shouldn’t think that buying nice things means we truly successful. I honestly believe our hard-earned money should be spent on experiences because those moments are what should define who we are and are what we will remember when we’re reminiscing in our rocking chairs (when we’re unfashionable no matter what we buy!).

How Many Friends You Have

When I was younger I tended to measure my worth by how busy my social calendar was. I loved having loads of friend and a weekend jam packed with plans which in the end left me feeling exhausted. Now that I’m approaching 30 that need to fill time isn’t quite as potent because I have decided that quality is more better than quantity when it comes to friendships. I have a small group of people around me who I adore and by putting my energy in to those relationships I am left feeling a lot more fulfilled (and I also have more time to myself which I love!). The same goes with social media too. For a while there I definitely felt under pressure to have as many followers as possible and would feel disappointed when I didn’t see the numbers increase the way I wanted. I have come to realise that you need your tribe online just as much as you do in the ‘real world’ and it doesn’t matter if you have 100 or 1 million followers, as long as you have good people engaging with you then that’s what really is rewarding.

What You Consider as Smart

My little sister Shannon is, without a doubt, the funniest person I know. She is so quick-witted that even the smartest people can’t keep up with her! Having such a quick mind means she’s always intuitive and has real common sense and yet despite all of this obvious intelligence, Shannon would never consider herself as ‘smart’. Growing up in western society taught us that intelligence is often measured by success in academia which means that we have a distorted view on what constitutes as smart. Being smart doesn’t mean you can answer all the questions in University Challenge (I have a mini Mexican wave if I get one answer!), have a degree or listen to classical music. You might have a brain for business (like my Dad who is dyslexic) or you might have a true talent with numbers. Don’t define yourself by how many books you’ve read but rather how you use the talents you know you do have.

Your Mistakes

Oh Jaysus, how often I have punished myself for the stupid things I have done or said. I have tortured myself thinking that people’s opinions of me have changed forever on the basis of a single act of stupidity especially as a reckless youth. I have started to discover though that people actually forget mistakes a lot quicker than you do and it’s how you recover from these mistakes that define you the most. Don’t worry that people will always attach your mistake to because they won’t.

Your Race/Religion/Sexuality

Growing up in Northern Ireland, people often used religion to identify themselves and even today there can still be an ‘us’ and ‘them’ language used by many. I was brought up as Catholic and my boyfriend was brought up as Protestant and although neither of us would describe ourselves as religious, it was still a bit of an adjustment for a few family members. In a perfect world we would all be viewed as the same but of course racial tensions are stronger than ever, sectarianism in NI still exists and LGBT members of the community still lack the rights that all humans should have. Despite this we should not let our race/religion/sexuality define who we are. We are more than just a label and if we are united in encouraging that mindset then maybe one day we can live in a society that starts seeing the person behind the label.

 

Have you any thoughts on this? Is there anything in your life that you refuse to let define you?? 

 

What Not To Worry About #32

What Not To Worry About #32

Happy Monday folks!

A new week is here and I am clinging on to this so-called summer with dear life. The sun has almost certainly been taking too many breaks behind the clouds and in the midst of an overcast-induced temper tantrum, Andrew and I impulsively booked flights for a holiday in less than 3 weeks. Yes, we are jetting off to freakin’ BALI people!! I am beyond excited and every day since I have woken up with butterflies just thinking of palm trees and crystal clear waters to swim in.

I promise I won’t torture you with too much gloating because I know a lot of you have already been and gone on your main trip of the year and are more than likely experiencing a very real case of the post-holiday blues. For this I would prescribe a weekend break in the autumn. Book it now so you have something, anything to keep you going until our Indian Summer arrives (she better). In the meantime try and enjoy the fact that it’s still warm enough to hear lawn mowers on a Saturday (my favourite summer sound) and there are still a few festivals happening to keep us occupied even if the rain clouds do decide to break.

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Bali-madness aside, things have been pretty dandy in all other areas and I am determined to ride this wave of positivity for as long as I can because I know life ain’t always this easy. I tend to be not so great at letting myself enjoy the good times because there’s always that bitch on my back telling me that something is going to come along and screw the whole thing up (is this an Irish thing??). That bitch has been fairly mute recently and man it’s nice to get some peace. I am happy with work, happy with Andrew lecturing me on his newest philosophies (his newest one is that we are living in a simulation – no joke), happy with my friendships and happy with my car that has no exhaust or working driver’s window.

With this lucky streak in mind I have decided to add a few things to the list of things I won’t be worrying about. Check it out:

How wonderfully united Northern Ireland really can be
Belfast Pride took place on Saturday and the city was tarted up in exactly the way it should be for the festivities. Rainbow flags were adorned on buildings and business, balloons and glitter filled the streets. Gay marriage isn’t legal here yet and the fight will continue until it is but seeing a city so united in and inclusive of all people was so uplifting. Plenty of hope here!

Being a fridge control freak
I accidentally chucked out a slice of pizza that Andrew had been saving for his evening snack last night and almost died. I tend to gut out the fridge on a Sunday and just wasn’t thinking of the consequences of my actions apparently. The man barely spoke to me for a good hour afterwards and I quickly learned that no matter how old the pizza is YOU DO NOT THROW IT OUT BEFORE CONSULTATION. EVER.
People who don’t leave back shopping trolleys

I saw a friend post a Facebook status about this and couldn’t have agreed more. And then this article came in to my life and blew my mind. Return your trolleys people!

Never feeling at home
As a person who has lived in a fair few places since leaving my childhood home at 18, I struggle with the concept of home. I could dedicate a whole post to this but until then I give you this article. This piece of writing warmed my heart so much so that it felt like home in itself. And she talks about tea which is just about perfect for me.

Not having my own home
We rent our wee house and although it suits us for where we are right now, there are times that I would just love to rip everything out and renovate it as my own. It’s so difficult to add personality to house that you can’t necessarily to do too much to especially when you have a lemon-coloured bath suite (barf) but when I do have my own house I want it to look a little like this one.

Have a great week!!

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What Not To Worry About #31

What Not To Worry About #31

A wee bit of a late post this week as I still feel like I’m catching up after my quick break in France with the little sister. What was supposed to be a relaxing break ended up a little more hectic than planned – turns out driving a tiny rental car along steep gorge roads isn’t all that tranquil! I’m planning on writing a few posts so I can share some of the beautiful sights we got to see on our journey while including some photos of our aunt and uncle’s house who we stayed with (an absolute French dream of a place which deserves to be on the pages of some chic magazine).

It’s so lovely to get to travel with my sister now that we’re adults and no longer act like the monsters we were as teenagers. When we were growing up the three of us girls would fight like feral animals (I’ve broken Shannon’s nose twice, I kid you not) and stealing clothes became such a fine art that I used to keep mine locked in the boot of my car! After a bit of maturing we’ve now become best friends and are fiercely loyal to one another. I wouldn’t dream of saying anything to hurt her (or her nose) now and she is genuinely the funniest woman I know. Even though we had a few hairy moments on our tour through the French countryside, we were never far away from another laughing fit. She also appreciates a photo opportunity as much as I do which made me feel a little less guilty about hopping out of the car every few miles. It was a wonderful wee trip and I can’t wait to share some of our stories.

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Now that I’m home and utterly depressed with the rain which seems intent on hanging around, I’m planning my next getaway. Andrew and I have spent the last few nights researching ideas for destinations and we’ve been leaning towards Costa Rica, Indonesia or Malaysia. Basically anywhere that has palm trees and is cheap enough to get around! If you’ve been to any of these places or even have your own suggestions, please throw them my way! I always love to hear travel stories and experiences and it might help us make a decision faster 🙂

When Shannon and I were away I was reminded of a few things that bug the hell out of me when I’m travelling. I thought I would share a few in this week’s ‘What Not To Worry About’ post in case I’m not alone!

People who don’t try to speak the local tongue

I know French people are notorious for being rude to people who make no effort to speak French but to be honest I don’t blame them. I cringe when I hear people just shouting louder in their own language (most likely English) to try and communicate instead of trying the basic words of the locals. I didn’t encounter a single rude French person on our trip and I think it might have been because I tried my hardest to start a conversation in French before succumbing to “Parlez-vous Anglais??”. My French wasn’t great but making a little effort to learn was appreciated and made for a much warmer response.

People who don’t separate their liquids before security

WHY??? Everyone knows the drill now even the most unseasoned traveler so why are there still people who ask for a plastic zip-bag just as we’re about to go through the detectors?! They waited through the entire queue until the crucial point when people think they’re almost free from the tension and these tyrants hold the show up for even longer. It’s just not cool so let’s just all go as prepared as we can eh?

Airport Prices

Oh aye, £2.50 for a bottle of water? No worries. £5 for a shitty sandwich?? Of course! Why do airports think it’s OK to rob people at their most vulnerable? When they’re sweaty and tired and desperate to grab anything in case they might starve on their 2 hour flight. There is so much pressure (especially when I have to run to the gate) and there are times when I’m sitting on my airplane seat realising that I’ve spent £20 on absolute crap just because I thought I would need variety. It also seems to be the only time that I buy a multi-pack of Werther’s Originals.

Take Off

I used to suffer from panic attacks when I was younger and I had a major one as I was boarding my first long-haul flight to San Francisco with my girlfriends. One look at the huge plane suddenly had me looking for the nearest exit – how were we supposed to get in the air in that massive yoke?! Luckily I had been provided with four Diazepam tablets to try and soothe the attacks, two for the way over and two on the way home. Of course I hoofed the lot like they were smarties (DO NOT EVER DO THIS!) which weirdly only subdued the fear and didn’t send me to sleep like I had hoped. I’ve now learned how to manage my panic attacks but I still get very nervous as the plane is taking off. Usually I’ll have Andrew’s hand clasped so hard his fingers are white but when I’m flying alone I’ll put on a playlist of all the music that makes me happy all the while trying not to think of being in the metal box hurtling thousands of feet in to the sky.

Airplane Toilets

Anyone else petrified of the flushing sound??? I refuse to flush when I’m still sitting in case my ass gets wedged for all of eternity. Or even worse, that I’m sucked in to whatever cesspit that is used for the waste of nervous fliers. Or even more worse, that I’m sucked in and then spewed out of the plane covered in aforementioned waste. These are genuine thoughts I have every time I go in to an airplane toilet. That and also imagining if anyone ever actually does the dirty in the toilets. I mean, could you imagine the glamour of getting lucky over a Ryanair toilet?? There’s a club I won’t ever be joining.

Have a great weekend folks!